Touch phobia

Hello, I'm a teenager who has a touch phobia (okay it's not professionaly diagnosed but I know it's there). I guess I don't know why or when it started but I have always been terrified of the doctors and the dentists and at first I didn't think that it was anything but as I got older my mum started saying I was to old to be upset over the going to the doctors but we linked it to a traumatic hospital experence when I was a toddler. Nowadays, I will spend months ignoring problems that I should cheak at the doctors. Now I know it because I'm scared.

Scared of touch.

My mum doesn't know, nor my dad. I fell stuipd and at first when I realised what I had thought it would go away. It's only getting worst. Sometimes I can't breath in closed spaces with people surrounding me and can only deal with touch with certain people (people younger, people I have know since I was a baby or people I have learnt to trust) this is why my family haven't noticed. However, I have never hugged my stepdad and find it hard to hug my younger brother.

I am really ashamed. I don't know why but I can't ask for help. It is distressing. I am at an age where people have started dating but this is impossible for me. It is not that I don't like I idea of touch, I just freeze, sweet and even cry when I'm esposed to it. I have told people at school not to touch me but I get asked a lot of questions that I really can't answer.

I am so happy I found this website as this phobia ( even if I hate it) is part of my identity and I propyl wouldn't be the same without it but I have so much to get of my chest. I also find it impossible to sleep in the dark alone or public speeches so I may also just have general fears so I know the difference. I also have strange dreams ,including bad images of touch and a recurring one includes a hand holding a pin going towards my eye and I now find it hard to look at sharp corners.

I won't wish my phobia on anyone as I do believe it is one of the most major phobia and I'm so sorry if you have experiences like mine ... I wish you the best of luck in finding help.

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