Terrefied of being alone day or night

by Ciara

I am TERRIFIED of being alone day or night. Constantly feel I need another adult beside me 24/7. Day or night. Been suffering alone with this problem since I was 11yrs old. Was always too embarrassed to tell anyone:/ Dont ever think I'd been left on my own b4 this (came from a big family of 14, where Im the youngest!!!). I live alone with my son who is only 1 yr old. Since I had my baby, my phobia's gotten so much worse as I feel unsafe and feel Im unable to protect and care for my son the way I should. Thing is I am totally isolated!!!! I have no family near me (They are about 600miles away), Have no friends (well 1 or 2 whom I have just met, but already feel I'm pushing them away) I feel unable to make friends because I fear they wont like me if they get to know me. Therefore I avoid socialising. Could say Ive a social phobia therefore makes the monophobia so much worse. So cant even help myself! I wish I could so I would be able to access company when im in an absolute panic. Im living the fear every minute of every day. They say facing up to it is the best way to deal with it. Im falling apart I cant cope at the minute, and the anxiety and panic never leaves me. Im living on my own almost 6yrs with my ex being the only person I used to interact with. My GP doesnt take me serious when I tell her I am contantly panicking - just put me on anti-D's which doesn't help in the slightest!!! It gets worse at night and I have awful trouble getting to sleep. My ex partner (father of my child) left me because of this problem as he cant deal with my constant need for him to be with me. He sees me as too demanding and needy. Always saying 'why did I not meet somebody normal?' I really do feel like a big child. Im 27, I shouldnt need someone to look after me? I need help, and its so embarrassing to explain to anyone. Would be heartwarming to know Im not on my own with this

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