Sitophobia and me
My whole life i have always had this Sitophobia problem that i seem to of come to terms with but the people around me just cant, when i was 2 years old i had a traumatic event where i almost died and from this day i have never eaten or even thought of food like a normal human being should! I eat 1 meal a day which consists of 5 slices of bacon in a baguette, i have had this everyday for 16 years! Some food i cant have anywhere near my face and i know it wont hurt or kill me but im just so terrified and i dont know why! I live off bacon and junk food, i feel pretty healthy to be honest but i know one day it is going to creep up on me and it will be too late which doesnt actually bother me but my biggest concern is that people just cant sympathise and some people are more bothered by it than me, ive just got a new girl friend and i have really bad anxiety when i know i have to explain to someone that i wont be whisking them away to nice romantic meals or taking them on picnics because i knowto mostpeople food is a big part of life, i still told her becuase i knew it would come out eventually, at first she seemed fine with it and seemed sympathetic but now i realise that it really bothers her and that it the relationship wont last just because of this stupid insignificant problem i cant control! Sitopobia makes me feel that i will never be able to have a familyor even live a normal life! But there are much worse things in life so why cant someone just look past this problem and see me for me! I feel that treatments that are offered are destined to fail and i believe that the suggested treatments would be completely unaffective, i went to a doctor about it when i was young and he suggested holding my nose and closing my eyes when i eat, someone who had been to university and medical school couldnt come up with any other treatment but stupid little things that obviously wouldnt work and since then i have always thought of doctors as useless so now i just put up with the fact im different and hope one day i can break free from this mental prison and take my mrs on a romantic meal and do all the things ive wanted to do, some people may be reading this and thinking he could have so much worse but to me this is disease that keeps me from living my life! Thank you for reading, its nice to share my feelings with other sufferers so people know their not alone becuase when i was growing up with it i felt very alone and all i wanted was someone to talk to
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