Simply paralyzed by others vomiting

by Grace
(Wyoming)

I have been terrified of vomit since as long as I can remember. I realize that this is because when I was younger (about 4 years old when it started) I used to get migraines at least three times a week, my father, thinking he knew best, would force me to eat and then I would proceed to vomit. This happened all the time.

I have heard that understanding why one has a phobia helps them to get over it. So far, this hasn't worked for me. I used to obsessively wash my hands and not breath around other people, etc when I was about 8, but my parents took me to a psychiatrist for that for a while and I finally stopped that business although I'm still wary of food and being ill.

When I hear, see, or even KNOW that someone has vomited, I shake, cry, and sometimes pass out. I literally RUN outside of the house whenever someone in my house says they feel sick. I WILL NOT kiss my boyfriend for a few DAYS after he has vomited. I am not really scared of myself vomiting, because it happens so rarely, when I am actually vomiting, but I'm TERRIFIED up until that point. I have trouble eating at restaurants because I'm afraid children there will throw up, and they have before. I have a serious issue.

People make fun of me, including my own father, trying to make the noises of someone throw up until I simply have to leave the room so I don't look like a little baby. It's not a laughing matter, and I partially blame him for my fear in the first place.

I have tried multiple things, even watching youtube videos of people throwing up as a form of exposure. I am simply terrified out of my mind of it and I am going to university next year and I am absolutley terrified. I don't know what to do other than see a counselor and pay ridiculous sums of money to get it rectified. HELP!?

-G

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