Phobia of taxidermy

by DS
(USA)

Phobia of taxidermy...I don't know what the name for it is-or if there even is one but-Omgosh I really have been alone in this all my 50+ years and you guys are all around me?!

Can't go places, especially new places, especially alone...And since I am/live alone...Can't travel because of airports and stations and cruise ships, truck stops...And unknown/untraveled places.

Haven't eaten a good steak but maybe twice in 50+ years. Don't go to any place with the words lodge, Texas, steak house, country, jungle, outdoors, NATURAL, HISTORY, MUSEUM, salt grass, Joe's crab...in the title. Or unknown convenience stores, casinos...or any place with a western motif or facade.

When I was 13 I was forced to live in Alaska for a month. I went hungry because I couldn't go in anywhere and mother was too inconvenienced by my 'obstinate' behavior to bring food out. It was a crying nightmare most days. Even the gas stations- and EVERY freaking restaurant! (Really?!?)

I grew up in and live in Texas so most of my childhood was my eyes closed with my hand in my little sisters back pocket being lead past replicas of dead animals. Nauseous and hyperventilating; crying. Praying there would eventually be a 'safe' place to sit further in... This ability AFTER I got big enough not to just scream, run away in a directionless panic and hide under the adults legs.

It took me years just to be able to not scream, turn and quickly but without hurting others, leave the given building/room, straight away.

All the museum's I was forced into...all the reoccurring nightmares of unidentifiable horrible things and terrifying sensations.

If I said the phobia has been so strong for so many years now that mostly I can sense them in buildings from the outside or parking lot: would you believe me? It's true. I've proven people wrong that were located in/worked in/been in many times/lived in... the respective building and couldn't/didn't see them.

And God forbid the doorway/exit be surrounded by them. That's worst case scenario. And yes the horned, large heads are the worst (obviously the full bodied large horned are the worst but less common than the heads). Small fish or birds + large room and open door= more tolerable. Large furred creatures + small enclosed environment= nightmare, uncontrollable adrenaline secretions, hyperventilation, crying, yelling/possible screaming/definite gasping, panicked unpredictable movements, basically FLIGHT (!!).

Current nightmares of being moved during my sleep into a room full of taxidermy...or someone moving them in while I'm sleeping...blocking the door...

Here's one for the books-once while driving, a truck pulling a trailer with a full huge buck pulled up beside me at a stop light. I almost wrecked my vehicle trying to get away from being trapped by his proximity and the red light.

And work? Interviews in strange places? Forget about it. You can call a restaurant and do reconnaissance but not prospective employers. I've kept the same safe low paying job for 18 years and just got laid off. Exceed Expectations on my evaluation, did nothing wrong, had no complaints against me-but discarded nonetheless. From one of the only jobs I can do and/or are trained for. Between my age, small but nonetheless real physical limitations, this phobia (and I can't do heights either: ie high rise office buildings, glass elevators, bridges...makes me wanna cry and pass out-just can't do it) I may as well be completely FREAKing disabled.
And I'm about to be homeless behind all this, in 3 weeks.

I understand why 50+ year old people end up under bridges every day. Working society throws them away to hire new younger beginning salary disposable employees and then for many reasons they can't get jobs. Can't be recycled. We become styrofoam, I suppose, while the under 30's are paper. 30's-50's are more like glass or plastic-they can be recycled but it has to be by someone that knows how.

In any case-a phobia can contribute to, if not lead to the ruination of a single persons life.

My first husband was fearless but understanding and protecting even when he didn't understand. But he died.

My second husband 'hated' chickens. Couldn't even visit his own parent's farm unless I went through the gate first to chase away the chickens. He kind of understood my feelings, a little.

But seriously-how often does a city dweller run into live chickens? He has it so easy. (Joke for those in the know-Everyone believes their phobia is worse than everyone else's.) Kind of like how major surgery is any surgery you/yourself get(s)...

If you suffer from this phobia of taxidermy too you can email me at my title, above, very top, at gmail. I welcome a pen pal with a kindred spirit.
Phobia of taxidermy...I don't know what the name for it is-or if there even is one but-Omgosh I really have been alone in this all my 50+ years and you guys are all around me?!

Can't go places, especially new places, especially alone...And since I am/live alone...Can't travel because of airports and stations and cruise ships, truck stops...And unknown/untraveled places.

Haven't eaten a good steak but maybe twice in 50+ years. Don't go to any place with the words lodge, Texas, steak house, country, jungle, outdoors, NATURAL, HISTORY, MUSEUM, salt grass, Joe's crab...in the title. Or unknown convenience stores, casinos...or any place with a western motif or facade.

When I was 13 I was forced to live in Alaska for a month. I went hungry because I couldn't go in anywhere and mother was too inconvenienced by my 'obstinate' behavior to bring food out. It was a crying nightmare most days. Even the gas stations- and EVERY freaking restaurant! (Really?!?)

I grew up in and live in Texas so most of my childhood was my eyes closed with my hand in my little sisters back pocket being lead past replicas of dead animals. Nauseous and hyperventilating; crying. Praying there would eventually be a 'safe' place to sit further in... This ability AFTER I got big enough not to just scream, run away in a directionless panic and hide under the adults legs.

It took me years just to be able to not scream, turn and quickly but without hurting others, leave the given building/room, straight away.

All the museum's I was forced into...all the reoccurring nightmares of unidentifiable horrible things and terrifying sensations.

If I said the phobia has been so strong for so many years now that mostly I can sense them in buildings from the outside or parking lot: would you believe me? It's true. I've proven people wrong that were located in/worked in/been in many times/lived in... the respective building and couldn't/didn't see them.

And God forbid the doorway/exit be surrounded by them. That's worst case scenario. And yes the horned, large heads are the worst (obviously the full bodied large horned are the worst but less common than the heads). Small fish or birds + large room and open door= more tolerable. Large furred creatures + small enclosed environment= nightmare, uncontrollable adrenaline secretions, hyperventilation, crying, yelling/possible screaming/definite gasping, panicked unpredictable movements, basically FLIGHT (!!).

Current nightmares of being moved during my sleep into a room full of taxidermy...or someone moving them in while I'm sleeping...blocking the door...

Here's one for the books-once while driving, a truck pulling a trailer with a full huge buck pulled up beside me at a stop light. I almost wrecked my vehicle trying to get away from being trapped by his proximity and the red light.

And work? Interviews in strange places? Forget about it. You can call a restaurant and do reconnaissance but not prospective employers. I've kept the same safe low paying job for 18 years and just got laid off. Exceed Expectations on my evaluation, did nothing wrong, had no complaints against me-but discarded nonetheless. From one of the only jobs I can do and/or are trained for. Between my age, small but nonetheless real physical limitations, this phobia (and I can't do heights either: ie high rise office buildings, glass elevators, bridges...makes me wanna cry and pass out-just can't do it) I may as well be completely FREAKing disabled.
And I'm about to be homeless behind all this, in 3 weeks.

I understand why 50+ year old people end up under bridges every day. Working society throws them away to hire new younger beginning salary disposable employees and then for many reasons they can't get jobs. Can't be recycled. We become styrofoam, I suppose, while the under 30's are paper. 30's-50's are more like glass or plastic-they can be recycled but it has to be by someone that knows how.

In any case-a phobia can contribute to, if not lead to the ruination of a single persons life.

My first husband was fearless but understanding and protecting even when he didn't understand. But he died.

My second husband 'hated' chickens. Couldn't even visit his own parent's farm unless I went through the gate first to chase away the chickens. He kind of understood my feelings, a little.

But seriously-how often does a city dweller run into live chickens? He has it so easy. (Joke for those in the know-Everyone believes their phobia is worse than everyone else's.) Kind of like how major surgery is any surgery you/yourself get(s)...

If you suffer from this phobia of taxidermy too you can email me at emailnovember at gmail. I welcome a pen pal with a kindred spirit.

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