phobia of fathers/stepfathers

It started two years ago my dad when I was little was my bestfriend in the whole world I loved him with all my heart but three years ago he started doing drugs and a year after that he started beating me and violating me to the point where he broke my arm and tried to rape me . And then I found out my friends dad was beating her and I made her tell someone she did the same with me but my dad got away with it and he didnt get arrested but hers went to jail I thought it was totally unfair because I almost died he used to tell me he was going to run me over and chop me to pieces I cant even stand people touching my toes because once he told me he was gunna chop off my toes because I already had a fear of fet and he held me down and took out his army knife and I was crying I had to run out of the house down the neighborhood just to feel safer and sometimes I wake up and I cant remember my dream but I cant look at my feet because I think their gunna be all bloody and toeless I really Need professional help because its to the point if im with a friends dad ill try to walk out and there's already tears in my eyes from fear I try not to run but then they tell me I was I need help please help :""c

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