Phobia of death, affection and abandonment

I'm a 14 year old girl and i've had a fear of death for 10 years, which probably came from the time my grandma nearly died in a car accident. the idea of losing a loved one or not being on this world shakes me so much that i cry at night. strangely, i'm fine when its broad daylight and i'm busy

-abandonment for about 3 years. i don't know how it started but when i can't fall asleep at night, i always seem to think that when i fall asleep, my family are going to run away from home. its silly, but i g et so scared that i check on them every hour to make sure they're still there.

-affection towards others, which includes kissing, hugging, being close to them or even complimenting them. i don't know why but i'm incredibly afraid of showing affection to others, even my family. it just feels awkward, and sometimes makes me seem like a mean person. i'm not, i just get a feeling that i don't know how to describe and if i tried, people would never understand how awkward it is for me to show affection.

its so weird because they are 3 totally different things yet they all scare me so much. there's not much chance of curing my phobia of affection as that would mean I’d have to open up to someone...

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