OCD that controls me TOO MUCH!

by Christina
(Ca)

This uneven number thing KILLS me. I swear I couldn't control it if I tried! It bugs my bf a lot because he says it's starting to affect our relationship! Well, I didn't think it was THAT bad but I guess I'm wrong! I have to change the volume on EVERYTHING to an even number, even if it's the bar volume kind, when I drink something or walk somewhere, I count the sips and steps, etc etc..** < I am trying to joke through it but I am not too sure if it's a serious problem yet or not. It's not affecting anyone else really except my boyfriend but we are around each other a lot.. He wonders if I think that the rest of the world thinks this way, that it's .... "normal" to be this way? Ha! Hilarious I'd say... It's rare, OCD, isn't it? I guess I should read up some more about it. :P Thanks for reading my rambling. If anyone wants to help me further on this topic or just become friends, ask me for my email address. :) I really hope I can understand this some more and get some opinions. I seem to be the only one around my area that is like this (Small town I suppose)! It would be nice to not feel alone; get some opinions, and some advice. :D My bf wants me to get help, and when I think about it, it scares me that I may at some point have to ACCEPT odd numbers!! AUGH!!!! I am seriously scared about that. I want to because it's annoying as heck, but I can't because.... It just wouldn't make sense to! I'm not harming anyone and I feel that I don't HAVE to deal with them. They just make me feel icky I guess you could say. It's weird.. I feel like it should be fine to turn the car volume up or down to be even. Or the tv when it bugs me. Or anything in the house that's uneven. I guess that IS a problem. My bf thinks I can just "let it go" but noooooooo. I wish it were that easy.... I don't know what to do about it.... What's the big deal right?! I just feel trapped. Ugh it's annoying. I'm rambling again.... Sincerely, Confused! <3 Christina

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