My phobia is throwing up.

by Lenci
(Poughkeepsie, NY)

Sometimes it feels like my whole life revolves around avoiding throw-up. I avoid people who do it.

Even my own child. If she's sick I pray really hard that she doesn't throw up and I ask her over and over again "does your stomach hurt? Do you feel like your gonna throw up?" This is so I can get her to the bathroom and then leave real quick.

I avoid sick people everywhere, at work, at the doctor's office, at school. It's so bad that I can't even swallow pills because the feeling of swallowing a pill whole feels like I'm going to throw up so I chew ALL my medication.

I drive my doctor crazy because I always ask for liquid medicine and I make him swear that there are no side effects that cause throw up, and if I feel like I'm going to throw up from it, I call him back and make him give me something else.

I hate the sound of other people doing it and can't watch movies or tv where people puke. The movie Less Than Zero traumatized me. I'm amazed at the people that can just do it and move on like nothing happened.

I feel like my world is coming to an end and I have no control over myself. I am most terrified of getting diagnosed with some kind of cancer. Not because I may die from it, but because of the chemotherapy and radiation they do that causes throwing up, wich brings me around to being a hypochondriac.

I really need help, it's scary sad and pathetic.

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