my fear of roaches and germs

by Diamond Rooks
(Chapel Hill, NC, USA)

As a little girl, i wasn't afraid to step on a roach, however i was always scared to touch them. As i grew older, my fear of them grew as well. Now at the age of 14, if i even see a roach, my body will freeze up.

If one is in the same room as me, my heart will beat faster and faster. If one is right next to me i will scream and try to get away. If i can't get away, i literally will cry and have a panic attack.

I am so afraid of roaches, that i try to keep my room as cold as possible, knowing that they don't like the cold. Even the thought of roaches sends chills up my spine.

I tremble at the sight of one in a case. If i'm at the pet store and i see roaches in a case, i'll walk out the store because i'm afraid that they'll escape. A lot of people take my phobia as a joke and will tease about putting a roach in front of me. When i tell them that i will run away screaming and crying, they laugh.

Being afraid of roaches has completely taken over my life. I have caught many colds because i keep my room very cold at night, and because i sleep in front of the fan at the same time. Even baby roaches frighten me. Not as much as the juveniles or the adults.

If i go to a friends house and see a roach i freak out. Anywhere i go i'm always on the lookout for roaches. If i put something on the ground, i poke at it to see if a roach is in it, then i hold it out in front of me and try to shake it out.

My symptoms are not made up. They are real and sometimes i wish i could just get over them.

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