I've had this Spheksophobia for most of my life
Spheksophobia, Fear of wasps.
I've had this phobia for most of my life. When I was a kid, I used to have this recurring nightmare about accidentally killing a wasp, and then the whole hive would attack me. I live in Texas, and wasps are plentiful here. Whenever a wasp would get into our house, I'd hide up in my room under a blanket with the door locked shut until it was dead. To this day, I tear up when I just see one.
In some ways my fears gotten better because I'm stronger now and don't freak out quite as openly, but, at the same time, my fear's gotten worse. I used to love being outside and going swimming and all of that. When I'd see a wasp, I'd freak and the fun would be over, but I'd still love to be out. I've been going outside less and less, though, because I don't want to be in contact with I wasp. God, even looking at the word creeps me out.
I, of course, have never been stung. Everybody tells me it's not so bad, but I can't even imagine it happening. It's too painful to think of a wasp being that close to me. Sometimes I imagine it crawling on my skin, feelings it's legs on me, and I just loose it. I can't stand it! Whenever someone tells me to imagine my biggest fear, ultimate Hell situation, I think of being locked in a room full of wasps. I don't think I'd be able to do it. I'd rather kill myself than be subjected to that.
My childhood memories are foggy at best, but I remember all the incident with a wasp like they happened yesterday. Once when I was very young my dad put his arm around my shoulder and a wasp flew out of my hair and strung his hand. Once a wasp flew up beside me during dance class and I all but had a fit. Once a wasp chased me, and I ran all the way down the street. Once a wasp crawled up on my neighbor's neck while we were playing in the pool. I was so terrified, I didn't even warn him.
I used to dunk under water if a wasp flew up to the pool and just stay there as long as I could hold my breath or until it was gone. Now, I just don't swim at all. I stay inside when I can help it.
Honest to God, I would walk a mile out of my way to avoid a wasp. I dodge them when I walk down the sidewalk without even thinking about it. Sometimes I'll be walking beside a friend, and suddenly I'll backtrack a few steps and do this weird half-circle. They always ask we what's up, and I realize as an afterthought that I was avoiding a wasp.
I once saw a wasp outside where a group I was on a school trip was sitting, and I spent almost two hours wondering the halls of a strange school all by myself and pretending to talk on the phone to my mom to seem less pathetic just so I wouldn't have to be outside with it. I had an entire freaking conversation with my "mom" and "sister" just so I had some kind of excuse for wondering around purposeless and alone.
I was once outside with my class on a nature walk when I started to see wasps. I basically crept around for the remainder of the walk, jumping violently at any noise and, frankly, hurting myself at the effort. I was just about it tears when we finally decided to go inside. My teacher told me that I should really "get over this," but I can't control it. My body just reacts when I see a wasp, and I see them everywhere. My friends claim that they don't see any wasps, but I know they're there.
My family was once out to lunch with my best friend and my sister's boyfriend in tow. My were seated outside, and I'd assumed I would be fine, but then there was this wasp. It stayed away from us for part of the time, but every so often it would fly nearer to us, and I'd just about blow a gasket. I pulled my jacket on tightly, even though it was something like ninety degrees out (like I said, I live it Texas). I kept my eye trained on it so that I'd always no where it was, but when another one showed up it was too much. We had to move inside, and by the time I got there, sprinting, naturally, I was in tears.
Every time I see something fly by or hear some kind of buzzing, I freak out because it might be a wasp. I see them through solid glass, and can't stop looking at them. I wish I could just ignore them, but I can't. I can't stop obsessing over them if they are anywhere near me.
I once saw something black fly by in my room, and I stayed clear of it for, literally, three days only to find out that it had been a moth, not a wasp, on my return.
I'm tormented by thoughts of wasps; I'm devastated by visions of them. They're terrible. They're horrible. They had the spawn of Satan, and I am not joking around. I hate them, and I hate myself for being so vulnerable to them.
It's now summer, again, and the wasps have come out to play. I'm only safe when I'l locked behind closed doors, and not always then. There was a mysterious buzzing in my room these last couple of days, and I had the most horrible visions of it being a wasp. I was terrified, even though I knew it wasn't a wasp, and I blasted music to keep myself from hearing it. The source of the noise was a plastic bag being blown by my fan.
Sometimes I think I just can't take it anymore. I don't know what to do. It's irrational, but I just can't stop being afraid. I don't want to live the rest of my life like this. This is killing me.