It just spawns instant rage.

by Anna
(Chicago)

I have an absolute hatred for people coming into my bedroom. I don't like even thinking about it. The idea makes me so stressed. Ever since I can remember, I have always had locks on my doors. Any room I'm in the doors have to be locked. I get stressed when I go into public buildings because I can't lock doors and I freak out if the doors to my house are left unlocked by my roomates. I can distinctly remember at least four large incidents of people coming in my room.

The frist was when I was about seven. I was in my room hanging magazine cutouts on the wall and my older sister came in to borrow tape. I told her I was using it and she took it anyway, we argued and I screamed for her to get out of my room. I was pushing her as hard as my little arms could and she wasn't moving fast enough. Then I slammed the door in her face. Her and I never got along and still don't to this day. The second was when I was maybe nine and I remember it clearly. It was Christmas an we had our close neighbor friend over to decorate the tree with candy canes. I was friends with the girl who was my age and she had a little brother. We were putting garland on when we noticed he was missing. It was a small apartment and we found him in my room playing with my toy cap gun. I freaked out and threw a
horrible tantraum, laying on my bedroom floor kicking, crying and screaming for everyone to get out. It was so bad my neighbors had to leave. The third time was when we were living in a different apartment. I was maybe twelve, and my neices were visiting. The disapeared while I was in the kitchen and I found one of then in my room, playing with my nail polish, she had poured it all over my rug. I was so blindingly angry that I just screamed for my mom to come and get the little brat. I wanted to strangle her. I'm typing this after the fourth and most recent incident. I'm eighteen now and I live with three roomates. I let one of them use my bathroom (It's attached to my room) to take a shower. I told that roomate to please lock my door when they were done. I don't trust my other two roomates because they're theives. Meanwhile I was in the kitchen washing dishes and cleaning. My roomate had taken their shower and left my door wide fucking open! It took me a while to mop the floor, and then I was done. I went off to my room to see the door wide open. I paniced went inside, looked around an saw nothing missing but I knew they were in here to case my belongings. One of them is out of work and steals money for cigaretts. So I know for certain they went in looking for money that I don't have. I just stood in my room fuming and crying and pulling my hair. In that moment I just wanted the world to burst into flames. I was absolutely fucking enraged. Now I'm worried they'll break in steal my stuff and sell it to get money. I hate my roomate for leaving my door open, and I hate myself for letting her use my fucking shower. I HATE people in my room.

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