Intense fear of marriage and saying I love you to men

by Andrea
(Cary, NC)

I'm 24 years old and have come to terms with an intense fear of falling in love and being proposed to.

I have been in a ton of relationships, not because I'm easy lol, but because I'm like (my friends love to compare me) the "runaway bride" of dating!

I step into a relationship with someone and within 3 months they always want to say "I love you" and everytime, I tell them to stop right before they say it because I can't bare to hear it.

I constantly have reocurring nightmares of being insanely uncomfortable with a man and freaking out because I said yes. Then I have a nightmare that I'm making the wedding plans and I can't breathe and can't think straight.

And now I'm cutting off relationships within a month and I'm getting tired of dating all together. I don't even know why I do it. I just don't like being alone I guess? I like having the companionship of a man because I've always been kind of one of the guys while growing up. I've never been a tomboy, but I have always felt more comfortable hanging out with guys, but yet I cannot stand to fall in love?

I want to get over this so much because I want a fulfilling life. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone and I would love to have a family, but I've also had crazy dreams about that too.

I can't stand pregnant women and they make me feel extremely uncomfortable. I never know what to say to them and I feel socially awkward when around htem. What can I do? Any advice?

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