Comments for Intense fear of marriage and saying I love you to men

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Two weeks later, I called him.
by: Anonymous

I was extremely laid back about dating and was very distrustful of those three words for a long time. Most people have issues like this based on bad experiences like divorced parents or dating disasters... in my case it was a mess from all angles. I was fed up that my on and off again guy was engaged to a girl in another country and the break up gave me time to figure out my general attitudes about dating and guys. I realized that I was dating people just to go out and have fun but no one seemed to be my match. I would avoid dating nice guys because it would mean that eventually I'd hurt them by leaving them for someone else. I wanted my partner to be someone I was attracted to who also had a great personality. When I finally stepped back and imagined my dream guy and how we would meet it made everything easier. This made up guy loved literature and he and I fell in love in grad school studying the same author.This guy had all the qualities I respected in professors or strong males in my life. He was not possessive, jealous or disrespectful. Any guy I met that failed to even come close to my potential guy was not worth dating so I worked out and studied thoroughly avoiding the dating world.I spent my time doing things I loved and meeting people. A few months later, a great guy asked me out and I hesitated but he put his number in my phone with a note. A few weeks later I called him and we have been together for a year. My long story is just to share that if you decide what you want in your mate it will be easier to know when a decent one comes along. Then it's just confidence that you made the right decision and a leap of faith in this guy. You will be fine.

Agreed.
by: Anonymous

I completely understand.
I have similar feel myself. The thought of holding hands, kissing, or marriage all freak me out. I can't stand the thought of touching more than hugs. I just can't. Even handshakes make me uncomfortable.
But I totally agree with what you're saying about wanting a male companion. I feel the same exact way. I want a nice, friendly, intellectual guy to adopt two kids, a dog, and no pregnancy or sex or grossness.

understanding
by: Anonymous

i think we all want someone special in our lifes; but at times we fear that,that someone will stop loving us at some point. if your able to find someone nice and understanding maybe you can open up to that person and let him know your fears and with his help learn to control them. a person doesn't have to say "I LOVE YOU" ;just having someone show you how special you are to them will be enough for now and thru the years of being together with the same goals maybe getting over these feelings will be easier.

Overcoming the fear of marriage
by: Anonymous

You should give it all to God. Put your life into His hands. Have faith that He will give you a good husband, the right one just for you. Perfect love casts out all fear. If God is love, then what is love without God? Ask yourself that question. If God is the center of your marriage, then your marriage will definitely succeed and be a good one.
What exactly are you afraid of? Of him hurting you? Leaving you? Or are you afraid he wont live up to your expectations? Or maybe you know that he isn't the one? Ask God to send you the man that you are supposed to spend the rest of your life with, and if you believe, that's one prayer He will definitely love to fulfill for you in your life. Remember that life is always full of problems and maybe that's why you're afraid of marriage, because marriage can bring with it a lot of problems, but if you trust in God, He can get you through anything. Maybe you should think about the good side of marriage and what happiness and joy it can bring instead of all those bad thoughts that I have a feeling you think about all the time. Talk to some people and ask them to tell you only the good side of their marriage, all the joy that they have experienced being together and in love, nothing negative, maybe it will give you a different perspective. Sometimes our fears come from our life experiences that shapes our thoughts and mind. I'm speaking from personal experience. When everyone you know and everyone around you seems to have a disastrous relationships or marriage you may think that is what will happen to you. Don't live your life on other people lives. Your life is yours to create and shape (with God's help of course). May God bless you and give you the most wonderful man that you deserve and I hope He gives you the strength to overcome your fear. Once the right guys comes along you'll be like "huh, fear, what fear?" :)

.
by: Anonymous

lear to get over it, you have no choice. its not as hard or weird as you think, only as much as you would like to make it.

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