I'm afraid of children.

by Jennifer
(Cottonwood, AZ)

My name is Jennifer. I am 16 years old and afraid of children. I don't know why I am, but I am. It started in about 7th grade, and got intense about my freshman year in high school. I have been reading online how to help myself, and can now look at photos and videos of children without much of a problem. When I am in a room with a child I feel like the walls are closing in on me, and I can't move. The thought of children touching me is horrifying. It's happened before in public places, and it makes me jump out of my skin. I become petrified, my heard feels like it's going to eat itself and my lungs feel compressed. Only a few people know, I haven't even told my parents. The only person that knows (that I know believes me) didn't believe me until I was caught in the corner of a computer lab when a class of third graders came in. I couldn't move, I couldn't talk. At one point they were all in an opposite corner when I ran out. I feel so wrong. I know deep down that they are harmless but something about them just scares me. I'm glad I could finally share, and I hope that someone with this same fear reads this and knows they aren't alone.

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