I have a terrible fear of bathrooms

by Tabitha
(Florida)

I have a terrible fear of bathrooms, especially public bathrooms, if it is dimly lit or there are dark colors I have panic attacks and if the colors are red and or black I just freak out and dissociate from it all.

At home I am not as afraid, my bathrooms have windows, so I don't feel as trapped, when I take a bath or shower I have to have my pet cockateil in the bathroom with me so I won't be terrified. I always try to take bath or shower before dark! I feel shame because I am so terrified of bathrooms, I have been this way since age two years old.

I have nightmares about bathrooms. The first time I saw a black toilet in a bathroom, I thought I was going to die before I could get out of the bathroom. I have flashbacks that I don't understand, when I try to reach deep inside myself to get to the root of the phobia, I feel a horror that I can't explain.

Anybody have any answers??