I have a phobia of my cat dying.

When I was 12 I got my first cat and it died as a kitten after getting feline lukemia. She bled through her ears and mouth and I watched her die. At 13 I got a third cat and I'm always afraid he's gonna die. He climbed my pool ladder once and now I'm terrified that I'll find him dead in my pool. This morning the pool ladder was left in the pool and I started crying because I was certain with my luck my favorite being in the world was dead although he wasn't. I'm 16 now but I just love my cat so much I'm so scared he's gonna die.

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