i have a fear of being trapped somewhere

by Sheila
(Brooklyn, N.Y., U.S.A)

I am a maintenance worker who clean corporate office buildings. I am permanent with union benefits and health coverage so i cant complain. the wage is pretty great too. but i am not permanent in an actual site. I am on the N.Y.C. route, which basically means i get sent to different corporate buildings to cover for people who are either out for the day, or a few weeks or even vacation and disability. So as a N.Y.C. route worker, workers like myself are limited to access cards to get around inside the building. It wasn't much of a big deal until i got trapped. The first time it happened i got trapped inside a staircase that had no re entry. I remember feeling light headed and nauseated and my hands and legs were shaking. But when i went one level down, i discovered the door to that staircase to be opened and i was fine as if nothing happened. But tonight was one of the worst episodes ever. When ever our barrels get full of trash, we have to take the full bag of trash to a freight area. Kind of like a vestibule and then later on the freight elevator guy collects the trash from each floor to then dump it. if you are a permanent worker in a site, it is easy for you to get in and out. But for someone on the route, you have to put something in the freight door to keep it open so you won't get trapped. I kept that well in mind however throughout the day as i worked. So at the end of my shift, i was confident the freight operator would pick me up to take me to the SC1 floor (sub cellar 1, so i shut the freight door behind me and pressed the call button to call the freight to pick me up. Well the buttons were not lighting up or calling the elevator.
Long story short, i pressed the call button furiously and started getting the same symptoms like the first time, except this time after being trapped for almost forty minutes with no numbers to call for help, i felt faint, dizzy, and was sweating profusely. i felt helpless and alone and all of the muscles in my body felt locked and cramped from being tense. It was the most desperate i've ever felt in my life. I thought i would never get out of there when suddenly security showed up to find out what the sounds coming from the vestibules were. The sound was me... crying loudly. Tears streaming down my face and all i begged him to get me out of that building. When i saw the first floor i bolted out of there so fast i think i left a trail of dust behind me. I know that that security guard is probably making fun of me with his colleagues, but i don't care. All i know is that i am home now relaxed and back to my senses and suddenly realized with a clear head that i left my log in sheet behind. So i most likely lost a day of hard work today. I immediately went on line to search for phobias to see what it is exactly i was going through and if others are out there with similar stories like myself but found nothing. But i encountered this website and figured i"d feel better by writing about it. Well, it worked. All in all though i learned a great lesson tonight, which is get every kind of number for security and offices from now on and not to close the freight door until i see the freight actually show up!!!! i hope never to go through this ever again!

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