Fear of Wind

by Alex
(New York, NY)

I suffer from a fear of wind. I never had this before September 2010. In September 2010 my hometown experienced a tornado. I live in NYC. We never have tornados but we did. We had a five day blackout. When I hear or see wind, I think the power is going to go out.

I have been going though so much stress since this happened. The slightest breeze makes me think the power is going to go out and that trees will be down. This fear of wind led to other fears. Winter came and I was afraid of snow. spring came and I was afraid of rain, thunder and lightning. Summer came and we then had Hurricane Irene.

The day we had the tornado the forecast was predicting thunderstorms. Well the tornado happened. I now link thunder and lighting to mean that we will have a tornado and we don't have a tornado anyway. Now I am afraid to drive in the rain. I am becoming afraid of so much. I wonder If there is an answer to my problem. I tell other people about my problem but they act as if I can tell myself not to be afraid and the phobia will go away. Its not that simple and I feel that no one understands what this is really like. All I want is a normal life.

Over the past year and a half I have been looking on the internet to research places with more desirable weather than New York so I can "run away" from these fears. I know this is irrational. Most people who leave NY leave because its expensive, not because they are afraid of wind, rain, snow, lighting & thunder. Before the Tornado in September 2010, I really loved New York. I was so proud to live here. Since the tornado I become so much more aware of the weather. This got to the point where I started to hate New york, a city I used to love so much. I wonder if I can get back that love. I also wonder if these phobias will be with me forever. I want to get better. I hate these phobias. I hate what its turned me into. I have turned into such a scared person and my self esteem has suffered. I lack the confidence I once had in myself. I want this back. I want to be fearless. I want to love New york again. I want to love and be loved. I simply want to be happy.

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