Fear of someone talking about cutting and any harm

by Lisa
(Cambodia)

I don't know if any other people are like this or not, but I am just not fine when people talk about cutting, self harm, blood or any sharp things (like knives, etc). When I sit with my friends, and they talk about those things, I really just want to shut them up! And they know I'm kinda scared of those things, so they keep teasing and mocking me about it. They say things like: a girl posted a video of her cutting her wrist and face with a knife blah blah... Argh~ Just thinking about it really makes me feel so uneasy and...it's just undescribable!! Because I feel it! When they describe about the knife, blood..and such.. I just FEEL it, and it's like I'm hurt too. I can feel the pain of the knife cutting through the skin. The more I am scared, the more they talk about it. Seriously, yeah, they are my best friends, but they really don't realise it's kinda serious for me. I almost cry several times already because of this stupid things. I'm really sensitive, that's why.. There were times when they used rulers and pretended to cut their wrists. I told them to stop, and I found a red line on my wrist...and it hurt! It's weird and strange, and I don't understand it either.. But I just hate it.. Only on days, when I don't feel well or empty or bad....that what they say or do don't affect me.
I don't know what to do...
It's weird..really weird..!!

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