Comments for Fear of my boyfriend looking at beautiful women

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relief
by: Anonymous

I must admit that it is very reassuring to read these words. At times I feel like an utter nutcase because I am so worried about my partner checking out or lighting up around other women. The truth is though that we all tend to light up a bit with acquaitances and put forth our best selves. While it is hard to practice , I do feel that the best advice is to try to live to our own ideals, do what inspires us , and keep a love and res[ect within relationship....I have heard that a nagging woman is one of a mans greatest downers. If there is a real cause for concern,that is different......at the same time it is hard to truly practice this and so thank-you ladies for sharing your fears. I wish for you all confidence and belief in yourselves~

Help I have a fear
by: Anonymous

Okay I am only 15 years old and me n my bf have been dating over a year now and I am SOO insecure it's nit funny. I have freckles no boobs or a butt . He says I am the mist beautiful girl in the world.. He gets mad cuz I say I'm not...I know he don't look at other girls but I still have the fear... Every one tells me to get over it becuz it is natural for men to look.. I'm scared it I don't get help I will loose him I don't want that he is the love of my life he's the only one I have now.. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!

Update
by: HM

When I learn what this all means, I will share my empowerment and experiences with you folks. Hugs Again, Holly.

Stare at Women
by: HurMur

Ok I am back. The fear comes and goes. It depends on my mood. I can be really secure one day, and then maybe for an entire week, I am back to the scared little gal who demands attention. I am seeking counsilling for it as I do not want my relationaship to suffer any longer. hugs you guys!

fear of boyfriend looking at women
by: sammy

i have the same fear...ive been told im very attractive buy loads of men,i have loads of attention,but when im in a serious relationship,i become so insecure...my boyfriend doesnt look at other women he says,& i believe him...but my fearis getting worse,as i wont let him watch films with anyone i think mite b a threat...or when we go out,he feels he has to look at the floor,as it saves me from the fear & anxiety,incase there is a pretty woman...we both know i have a problem...i think ive had it since i was 17...im now 37...all my relationships failed..my current partner is being supportive as much as he can...but its hard..
i recieve alot of attention from men when they are with there girlfriends,i see them looking at me,i think it terrible..& would hate it to be my man doing that...i trust my man as he not a mans man & not interested if he ever saw another womans face in his live(apart from mine),with all the grief this has caused...im trying to help myself a step at a time..it not easy..

fear of boyfriend looking at women
by: sammy

i have the same fear...ive been told im very attractive buy loads of men,i have loads of attention,but when im in a serious relationship,i become so insecure...my boyfriend doesnt look at other women he says,& i believe him...but my fearis getting worse,as i wont let him watch films with anyone i think mite b a threat...or when we go out,he feels he has to look at the floor,as it saves me from the fear & anxiety,incase there is a pretty woman...we both know i have a problem...i think ive had it since i was 17...im now 37...all my relationships failed..my current partner is being supportive as much as he can...but its hard..
i recieve alot of attention from men when they are with there girlfriends,i see them looking at me,i think it terrible..& would hate it to be my man doing that...i trust my man as he not a mans man & not interested if he ever saw another womans face in his live(apart from mine),with all the grief this has caused...im trying to help myself a step at a time..it not easy..

fear of woman when in a relationship with my man
by: sammy

i have the same fear...ive been told im very attractive buy loads of men,i have loads of attention,but when im in a serious relationship,i become so insecure...my boyfriend doesnt look at other women he says,& i believe him...but my fearis getting worse,as i wont let him watch films with anyone i think mite b a threat...or when we go out,he feels he has to look at the floor,as it saves me from the fear & anxiety,incase there is a pretty woman...we both know i have a problem...i think ive had it since i was 17...im now 37...all my relationships failed..my current partner is being supportive as much as he can...but its hard..
i recieve alot of attention from men when they are with there girlfriends,i see them looking at me,i think it terrible..& would hate it to be my man doing that...i trust my man as he not a mans man & not interested if he ever saw another womans face in his live(apart from mine),with all the grief this has caused...im trying to help myself a step at a time..it not easy..

Self Esteem
by: Holly

Heh. I am back. Thank you for the suggestion. I actually have been improving my fear by loving myself and accepting my own insecurities, and have since been feeling so much better. Feeling like I am a princess really, and improving my self value. Stick to your own true values, and loving yourself is very improving. remember , these women we worry about are just as special and have just as many issues as we may have with things THEY are going through. I find befriending another person we may find threatening is facing the fear and hence can deminish this fear very quickly. If anyone here needs any support, I can help. Thank you for listening.

The cure
by: Anonymous

Look, you are right . It's just .. will, maybe , you talk to your boyfriend and tell him that you are protective . But.. don't be to much that protective or don't show him anything ! Because he's a man and you don't know maybe he hags out with his friends and watch those movies . Just don't get stressed or worried and pray to God that he won't cheat . And try to make him feel comfortable around you . I guarantee you that he'll be with you forever . And it's not phobia. you are just worried ! That's it ! Just act cool and don't worry . Always feel that you are the best and feel like that your boyfriend will not cheat on you. Always think positive.

WOW
by: HM in Antigonish

I just read these too, and I KNOW without a doubt it is my absolute FEAR that if my boyfriend even sees a nice looking girl, I clam up and lose it. I am not usually insecure and do not understand this behavior. I have had it since I was 18. I am now 38 and it has changed my life and controlled me for so long, I do not know what to do. I went to counseling, that was a joke. The lady basically took one look at me and one look at my then husband, and said,"Oh, you poor thing, Arnold"after I explained to her that I get so jealous and scared when we are out and watching shows and a pretty woman is there. That was all I needed to hear, and I walked out. I get panicky when the students come back to our University town and I know they are all dressed scantily clad and young, and look amazing to me. I am fearful that he stares or would look in their direction when I am not with him. I have witnessed him stare at a beautiful woman at my son's graduation before, and it hurt so bad I found it hard to forgive him. He apologized and admitted it finally after hours of me asking if he was staring at her. He told me he liked her scarf that was around her neck. Anyways, what can I do?

NOT A FEAR, AN INSECURITY WITH THE WRONG PERSON
by: Anonymous

We broke up and I don't feel like that anymore. I think it is because he cheated on me and I didn't feel secure in our relationship. I thought so badly about what he did and had a bad perspective about him. Oh well now I have more time to go to the gym and focus on my career. I believe sometimes we get with the wrong people that tear us down instead of lift us up. I feel better but hate him for all the lies and abuse he put me through. One thing I tell myself is "It's not my fault he cheated on me." He cheated on his ex more than once and never told her, why would he tell me? Just get out and move on, before you drive yourself crazy. I still cry but one day I won't. Maybe I will meet the man of my dreams and I will feel so beautiful and loved that I won't be intimidated by anyone else's beauty.

Perspective
by: Anonymous_xoxo

I am going through the same exact thing. But let me say this first, everyone has different views, opinions and standards. Most people today are very desensitized to the media and what society portrays as "normal". And sadly, your eally can't go anywhere without seeing billboards for strips clubs, victoria secret models in skimpy lingerie on daytime television, or anything not dealing with sex on tv. Advertising sex has skyrocketed due to today's resources and society. There is no way around it, expect to find someone who understands where you're coming from.

There is nothing "wrong" with you or any other woman who struggles with this issue. Some people are fine with their men fantasizing about other women, but others are terrified and deeply hurt by this. I personally don't check other men out besides my boyfriend and can definately control my own thoughts, because I believe love should be between two people and those two people only. Letting fantasies of other people into your mind while not cheating is mentally/emotionally unfaithful. I believe it damages relationships.

Many people will say you're being ridiculous, but just remember everyone has there views. While some people are okay with it, others are not. Talk to your boyfriend about it and let him know how you feel. Don't let it run your life though! Trust me, I know the feeling and it's terrible. But if you have that much trouble wondering who he's looking at, then the problem is not with you, it's with him and his wandering eyes. If he respects you, he'll understand. Good luck.

reply
by: Anonymous

Hi, i just read your article and i completely understand what your going through, you have just described everything that im going through too. I feel its effecting our relatonship and i feel its not normal, but then I cant handle him looking at the tv at all when these women come up. I feel he will prefer them to me and I feel panic, my heart beats faster and i feel anger. Please tell me if youve had help here and what kind of help i can get? it embarrassing to talk about and havent spoken to anyone.

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