Fear of losing control and wide spaces
(St Clair Shores MIchigan)
I am 50 and have had this since I was about 8 yrs old...I just have horrible thoughts about what if... losing control is the worst possible thing I could do...anywhere whether it is in a crowd...the line at the supermarket..driving... I have NEVER EVER lost it but just the thought that I COULD makes me have panic attacks...My life has been so held back because of this... I also have a fear of being too far away from home...if I am out driving like 35 miles away,I worry that I am going to panic and not be able to drive home...the scared thoughts take hold and I get sick...sweaty..feeling like I am just going to lose all control...It is ME doing it to ME but it is still scary when it happens... Also just the thought of going into a tall office building and walking in the door terrifies me...the wider the place the worse it is for me. If I walk in a building like that I feel like I am just going to fall, I can walk my dog but cannot just go for a walk...I get all off balance and dizzy...walking into a large store, it takes my breath away...If I am ice skating, I have to stay by the edge..I cannot skate down the middle of the ice...I feel off balance, hyperventilate and I have to hold on to something..I did find out that I have no depth perception and my eyes do not focus together..I do not have binocular vision ...and I found this on an eye website...
Binocular vision: The ability to maintain visual focus on an object with both eyes, creating a single visual image. Lack of binocular vision is normal in infants. Adults without binocular vision experience distortions in depth perception and visual measurement of distance.
I almost think my eyes play a big part in the wide open problem...does anyone else experience this???
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