Fear of hand washing

Hello. I feel stupid even typing this, but I have a fear of hand washing. I hate it when people wash their hands in front of me. I get really nervous when I have to do an activity that requires washing my hands before or after and there are others present to witness me washing my hands. When I'm alone, I don't care--I'll wash my hands (as long as I like how the soap smells), but I get this horrible panicky feeling when I'm with someone and I have to wash my hands in front of them. I don't even like it when people talk about washing their hands. The other day, my husband was talking about how he makes this meat dish where he has to handle the meat with his hands and how he has to wash his hands several times afterwards. I wanted him to stop talking so badly! I got so on edge from something that is so normal that everybody does it. I know that it makes sense to wash your hands to get rid of dirt, germs, and any other gross stuff, but I have this fear of it. I also hate soap that smells bad. Most of the time, this kind of soap is found in public restrooms. I carry my own shower gel and lotion from Bath and Body Works in my purse and use it in situations where the soap smells bad. I don't think anyone else in the world has this fear of hand washing. I am way too embarrassed about it to tell it to anyone....including my husband.

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