Fear of Getting Angry and Fear of Anger
Not necessarilly the fear of getting angry that there seems to actually be a term for, but the fear of a loved one being dissappointed or angry with me to the point where they would leave me.
I've always tried to make everyone happy that I care about. Always trying to do things for them and give them thing to show my appreciation and I'm so afraid I'll mess up and make someone mad at me.
It has decreased over the years- I used to be afraid of anyone being mad at me; And being quite unpopular in school when I was younger, it was impossible to make everyone happy without being constantly taken advantage of. Slowly I began to ignore the people who were mean and rude to me, and cared less and less what they thought, but in the back of my mind I am always tormented by thoughts of What if. What if I screw up.
For example. I have a boyfriend whom I love dearly, but whenever I have to change plans to be with him or if I have something thats bothering me between the two of us- I am reluctant to say a word because of this fear.
It can also be associated with a fear of loss because I am terrified that if I do or say something to make him angry that he won't want to be with me anymore. He doesn't instill this in me, it has always been there, I just don't know how to make it go away. So maybe I can talk to him about things and not be so hurt if he doesn get angry with me.
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