Fear of being gay
I have spent many years trying to understand whether I am gay or not. Although I have tried to convince myself that I am gay nothing has changed.
I have also tried to dispel it from me and say it isn't so. NO lasting result either.
I have not had sex with another man only kissed and felt really awkward afterwards. Once I washed my lips immediately afterwards another time felt rather squeamish about it and the third I can't remmeber much.
I haven't a "proper" sexual relationship with a girl or a young woman for many a times.
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