Fear of being Alone
By the way before you read my story it might make you scared.
When I looked up my fear it kept saying the different kind of alone like relationship wise. But no I'm talking about alone in the house. I find the house the most scariest if there is no one else home. I get scared easily. I don't like going upstairs or downstairs by myself even when my family is home. When it starts to get dark outside and I'm all alone I get really scared. I just curl up on the couch and watch TV even when its really late and its a school night. When my family is home my mom or dad have to turn my bedroom light off while I scurry to the bed because I don't want to walk in a scary room because I feel that there is something or someone in the room watching me. I have a big room and there's a lot of space for scary things to happen. When I am on the main floor of my house and I look up the steps that go upstairs and all I see is darkness I think something is going to come out and get me. Even though I know that none of it is real my mind still believes it's possible. When I'm in the bathroom I have to have the shower curtain open so I know there is not a dead body or something in there. Also I think writing will start to appear on the mirror or shower curtain. Mirrors in the dark creep me out too. I don't want to see anything but me in the mirror. That means creepy little kids or creatures or anything of that sort. I was outside with a friend jogging at night and sounds start to appear and images of people start to pop up in our minds. We were getting scared and every time we passed a car that wasn't moving I was still scared. I always look at the car to check if there is any person or head is in there. Every time I look in the car I see someone in there until I look long enough and there was actually nothing there. I can't be on the side that is closest to the car, I don't want a little girl banging on the window screaming at me. My friend was telling me a story once that scared me and it had to do with a rabbit. Never again will I see rabbits the same way. I have a stuffed animal rabbit in my room that's on the shelf above my bed and that night after she told me the story I hid under the covers the whole time and didn't want to move, my mom had to sleep in my room that night and the nights after because I was really scared. I want to see a psychologist but I'm pretty sure they cost a lot and my dad will just say that I don't need to see a psychologist and that I just need to pray and God will keep the evil things away. I believe that but I want to see a psychologist to see if it's normal for my age or if I'm crazy or something and to tell me things like its all made up or whatever. Dolls are creepy all the way. I used to have a my sized Barbie doll when I was little and I liked it. But then I got afraid of it and I always imagined it coming out of my closet while I'm sleeping. I don't like to be in a room with a doll alone like if I was at a friends house and she has some expensive dolls her grandma gave her and she leaves to go to the bathroom and the doll is just starring at me I want to leave the room especially if it was at night. I used to sleep at a friends house a lot and there was woods in her backyard and there was a barn if you passed the woods. Well they told me stories of the barn and that scared me rally bad and also that their house doors sometimes close by themselves a little bit. So when there were sleepovers with a couple of people I would try to get the middle when we sleep because I feel that the middle is the most protective place. When I was younger I would be scared to go to the bathroom at school because if no one was in there I didn't want anything to happen to me. So one time I really had to pee so I went to the bathroom and no one was in there. My thoughts were should I ditch and hold it in till I get home or do I pray to God nothing happens to me and if I die then I die and I will see God soon. I went and I was in the stall and I started hearing noises like the water faucet dripping or something and the door close to a stall. I was freaking out. I actually thought that was how my life was going to end and I should have said goodbye to everyone beforehand. I got out quickly washed my hands tried not to look in the mirror to see a stall door move and left fast. Also I see a lot of scary commercials on TV not on purpose and I have had other experiences like in my neighborhood my friends and I were playing with a ball and there was some sign. What the sing said was not significant but then when we stopped playing the sign was gone and no one came by to pick it up. Also when I was jogging with my friend that same place had a light outside those ones on the tall poles. Well we started to see it flickering and going on and off and the other ones weren't doing it so what did we do? We ran away and left. I doubt we will jog again at night. So I can't go in my basement alone. I need something down there then I ask my mom or dad to go down with me, they know that I'm still scared. My basement is just too scary. I don't think it's normal to be this scared at my age. There were times when I was scared half to death I was crying but I can't remember them except for in nightmares that scared me. I like scary books even though they scare me a little. I watch some scary shows but they don't really scare me so they are mild. The basement door at home closes too by itself but it really was just the air conditioning that was on or the heat. Sorry it's really long but I think I covered everything I wanted to say thanks Bye.
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