Comments for fear of being alone

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the past
by: Anonymous

i have had similar fears and i guess it has affected me greatly. i have had success in getting better when i stop thinking in the negative feelings that arise from my childhood. the past needs to be left behind. i know how hard it is to leave things in the past; but, if you think of how wonderful of a person you are without these events in your life it becomes much easier. your concerns makes it evident that you think about others and therefore no doubt that you have a charming personality. hang around people that need you and that like being with you (especialy older people that know what you have gone thru) will make you feel wonderful. sometimes we think too much about ourselves which in turn makes it worse. dedicating time to others makes us feel much better. you will probably never cure these feelings but you can manage them and be happy.

Ouch
by: Anonymous

Ouuuch, that one hurts. Not because of the being alone bit, but because of the being with someone else bit.
You CAN do something; be more social. I have the same phobia. Being alone, having no one, and I honestly can't stand it (mostly because the feeling of being alone is associated with depression, which isn't any fun.) So I've started being more social; just do that and it'll start to improve.

You COULD (unlikely) have a mental disorder. But it's unlikely.
Maybe you were depressed before and associate having no one to be there for you with depression; and are therefore fearful of lonliness.
As for the being in a relationship-fear...I don't know. I don't have that fear. I only have the fear of a relationship not working.

But seeing as you stated that you wouldn't be able to handle hurting a girl, the chances are very high that you /won't/ hurt someone. Your own views are stronger than genetics. (Like with me; my family has a history of drinking problems, I don't drink because I don't believe in it. My genetics say that I should be a drinker, but I'm not.)

Just ignore your fears, no matter what.
(Ignorance is bliss.)

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