Fear of batteries; Fear of Consuming shards of metal and/glass
Since I was first prengant with my daughter a few years ago, I developed several phobias (on top of the ones I already have-heights,and claustrophobia). Are there names of them? I do not know.
I do not know how they came to be. Somewhere I came across horror stories that stuck with me. For one, I cannot touch batteries without washing my hands almost raw. They do not have to be corroded. They could be brand new out of the package; I replace them in controls and in my daughters toys. But after discarding the intact old ones. I HAVE TO WASH MY HANDS! You would think that I touched poison or something from my reaction. If my baby touches batteries, I thoroughly wipe off her hands.
What else? A few months ago, I had difficulty opening a pop can, so I used a knife to finish opening. I paused before taking the first sip. A thought hit me...what if that knife removed a sliver of metal. I drink it and then that thought started to really eat at me while I drank my soda. I stopped drinking. Images flooded my mind. The shard could cut up my insides. The doctors may not be able to do anything. I die and babydoll would never remember her mother, being so young. I started hypervenilating.
I called my mother. She didn't know what to tell me. "If you thought there was a possiblity why did you drink it?"
I called a friend who assured me that she herself often did that and that I would be fine.
I was relieved. Another time I noticed as I was opening a can of vegetables small silver specks were being left on my can opener. I was making babydoll food. But I did'nt want to give it to here, afraid the metal shavings would end up in the food and hurt her. Yet, we didnt have much food to begin with. It would be awful to have to throw it away. I called another friend who once worked in an emergency room and has three little ones of her own. She calmed my fears that it was normal and that there would be MANY cases if that was possible.
And just before I decided to look up these phobias only and came across this site to write my own "confessions of an ocd victim," I poured myself a mug of coffee. The mug tapped the coffee pot. I thought to myself I could have chipped the pot and the shard could be in my mug. I sat my drink down. Thought about it for ten minutes, walked to the sink, and dumped it out and rinsed it out. Even now as I drink a new, I am wondering if the "possible" shard is swimming in my pot and I still could "possibly" drink it by mistake. I keep telling myself, that anything, even things I can think of, could possibly happen to me, and that God loves me and WILL protect me. Thus, I conclude my story, sipping my caramel truffle black coffee.
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