Fear of aquatic life and being in water with life.

by Cynthia
(Los Angeles)

Well for as long as I can remember I've been terrified by animals that live in the water. On my first trip to Sea World at two years old, my parents were excited to show me Shamu and all the sea life there since we grew up pretty poor and this was my first fun trip out. I cried hysterically until we left. I can deal with otters, hippos, things like that...but everything else that lives underwater (especially salt water), has fins, swims fast, any of those things, scare me to the point where I'll pass out or have a panic attack or maybe even die. I swam with fish when i went hiking with my bf at Eaton Canyon. They were about 8 or 10 inches long, pretty small fish. I wasn't aware of the fact that they were in the water with us. When i found out, it took all my guts to face my fear. At Santa Monica beach I saw a ray in the water as a wave was forming and the water turned clear enough to see through. I have no words to explain how it felt to be in the ocean with these creatures. And yes I said creatures ! There were rays all over the shore. The life guard let me know they only attack if you step in them but I couldn't go back in honestly. The funny thing is that I've seen a huge seal on a sea shore in Mexico by my grandmas house and i approached it with no problem because it was getting some sun on the rocks. It was calm and friendly and cute :) I was in the water when it decided to go back in the ocean, and it swam by me. I fainted and I would have drowned if it wasn't for my mother pulling me up to the surface. Whales, Sharks, Seals, Sea lions, Sea Elephants, Dolphins, Beluga Whales, fish of any size, rays, octopus, squids, jelly fish, even sea anemones and clams. They are so unnatural to me. The way they move and the way they can swim faster than me, it just reminds me that they can harm me if they want or even kill me. I feel like I'm in their turf and they have complete control of my life at all times if I'm in the water. Even seeing pictures or watching nature shows on my tv make me cry when i see them. When I'm in a pool I have hallucinations of sharks and large animals swimming below me, dark shadows and seals or dolphins. It makes me leave the pool for a bit. Oh my god whats wrong with me !?

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