Can't leave town

by mike
(East coast canada )

I am a in my 30's man. Have a loving wife and beautiful girl.

However getting on a plane to bring them to Disney world or even going to the next province 50 minutes away. Not happening. I always for years have been finding excuses or being honest and open about not able to leave town because I am diagnosed with ??????

Ya that is right I have no idea. Been seeing doctors and psychologist also therapist and it's all anxiety to them. I'm on 6 clamazapam a day .5 and 100 MG of wellbutrin.

In town I feel fine I can go anywhere. If it gets busy I may get agitated. I feel as thought I am rushed all the time. I can get anoyed or angry easy. Sudden bust of crying. Yes I grew up on the sad mommy and daddy drank. And mom and dad abused me (verbaly) etc etc... but i feel this issue may be deeper then this.

It sucks because I could leave town and was able to go to the beach 20 minutes away. Now I cannot. I fear the fear of having fear.TM

It sucks waking up to the same routine. I am not happy with my self, I feel fag and ugly and a disgrace to myself and the world because I feel I could do a lot of good for the world. A little over the edge I know anyways that's my icing for now.

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