Ailurophobia, fear of cats

my fear of cats is so strong that i left my boyfriend of 9 years because he has a cat that lives outside. i moved in with him thinking that i would be ok and that i could face my fear, but after 2 months of living there and knowing that the cat was outside i couldn't take it any longer i moved back home with my mother. everyday i was afraid to go out of the house for fear that the cat would attack me at anytime. i carried a stick in my car for when i had to go home thinking that the cat was waiting to get me. i have never been bitten or scratched by a cat nor have anyone that i know. i feel that cats are nasty animals that really have no purpose in life. people say that they kill pests that you don't want in your home such as snakes and rats, but i am willing to take my chances with them not to have a cat living around my home. and no matter how much i stressed to my boyfriend that i was afraid he thought that i was just being silly and i should get over my fear, but couldn't so i moved out. i love him(my boyfriend) with all of my heart but his damn cat drove a wedge in between us. i would be sitting in any room of the house and something told me to get up and look out the window and there was the cat sitting outside any window that i looked out looking at me. it was like it sensed my fear and was tormenting me for being there. i wanted to stay but i had to leave before i had a meltdown. and the thing is i don't want any help to get over this fear i just want to not think about it and move on from this part ofmy life cause i gave him a choice and he choose the damn cat over me!!!!!!!! and he only had the damn thing for a year, now i feel like there is somthing wrong with me!!!!!!!!

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